Funeral for Kyle Mullen in Manalapan after Navy SEAL training death
MANALAPAN – Regina Mullen unfolded a poster that had been affixed to the wall of her son’s room. The poster was on the wall for so long, some paint peeled off when she removed it.
She showed it to a church packed with mourners for Kyle Mullen’s funeral Mass on Friday, and read the words with a steady voice.
“Today I will do what others won’t,” she said, “so tomorrow I can do what others can’t.”
That credo drove Kyle to do extraordinary things, from his days as a Manalapan High School football star to his enlistment in the Navy to his final week auditioning to become a Navy SEAL. The 24-year-old died Feb. 4 in San Diego, hours after finishing “Hell Week” — the most arduous phase of the SEAL selection process.
The Navy’s investigation into his death is ongoing.
During Friday’s funeral Mass at St. Thomas More Roman Catholic Church, which was live-streamed to the public, Regina Mullen called Kyle “my hero” and reiterated what family members previously told the Asbury Park Press — that they hope the Navy’s findings will help prevent a similar tragedy in the future.
“I was one of those that definitely tried to talk him out of going into the Navy, but he said, ‘I’ve got to go Ma, I want to go,’” Regina said as part of the eulogy she delivered. “He said he wanted to save others.”
She said Kyle “was happy there, and he made amazing friends there,” and said she spoke with him right after he completed Hell Week.
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“He was happy that he did it; he said, ‘I’m good Ma, I love you,’” she said. “So I guess this is his way of making change, and saving others in his life. We will all miss him so much.”
The church was filled with relatives, friends and fellow sailors, eight of whom escorted Mullen’s casket. Scores of first responders from Manalapan and beyond also attended, and a township firetruck raised a giant American flag near the entrance.
“I’m sure he would love to see the outpouring of support,” T.J. Mullen, Kyle’s brother, said while delivering a eulogy. “Kyle is the best man I and any of us know. I say ‘is the best man’ because Kyle will live on in the impact of his actions on all of us.”
T.J. Mullen said he understood his brother’s desire to serve the country and that it was second nature to him.
“He did not regret joining the Navy for a second,” T.J. said. “Many people tried to question his decision or stop him from joining, but I never did. I knew his mind was made up and nothing would deter him from his goal.”
He said their mother’s mantra of “Everything is mind over matter — if you don’t mind, it don’t matter” motivated Kyle, who was Asbury Park Press All-Shore Player of the Year after leading Manalapan’s football team to an NJSIAA sectional title in 2014.
“Kyle embodied this, and he’d rather die than quit before reaching his goal of becoming a SEAL, an elite member of an elite group,” T.J. Mullen said. “The kid never learned the meaning of the word quit. That unfortunately brings us here today.”
Hell Week is a 5½-day test for the SEALs’ BUD/S class, which involves underwater demolition, survival and combat tactics. It comes in the fourth week of the selection process for the Naval Special Warfare Basic Training Command. A majority of the candidates do not finish the week.
“Before he left for training, I talked with Kyle for a bit about what might happen, and that has now transpired,” T.J. Mullen said. “While we knew death was a possibility, that knowledge provides no comfort now that that nightmare has become a reality.”
In an interview with the Asbury Park Press earlier this month, a Navy SEAL candidate who did not finish Hell Week in 2021 described his experience in traumatic terms. He said he was left unattended by medical personnel in a classroom for hours after being pulled from the training.
The candidate, whose name was withheld because of the matter’s sensitive nature, said he had to check himself into a nearby hospital, where he stayed for five days with multiple serious ailments.
Concerns over the post-Hell Week process were echoed by members of Kyle’s family in a recent interview with the Press.
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“Kyle knew what he was getting into,” Jim Wehringer, an uncle, said. “We have no problem about any of the training they do — that’s the best of the best. However, the family’s concern is after they get through Hell Week, you should be taking care of them. They should be monitored, an IV in their arm, their vitals checked. If that wasn’t done — I don’t know if it was — that’s the concern.”
On Friday, T.J. Mullen said “not even the cruelty of death can extinguish the light in this world that is my brother’s life.”
He recounted how Kyle regularly gathered the family to watch the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
Looking out at the packed church, his brother made the connection.
“The theme of the movie is that no man is a failure who has friends,” he said. “If this is true, then Kyle seems to be one of the most successful people of all time.”
Jerry Carino is community columnist for the Asbury Park Press, focusing on the Jersey Shore’s interesting people, inspiring stories and pressing issues. Contact him at [email protected].